Our modern understanding of sea level rise can be traced back to Dipsomedes. Like his cousin Archimedes, Dipsomedes was fond of taking baths, in his case mostly because he was so filthy all the time. On one occasion he had stepped out of the bath and was whistling as he dried himself off. He didn't know how to whistle, but the passage of a draught through his wet rolls of fat produced a whistle Otis Redding would be proud of. He glanced back at the bath and noticed the high water mark, defined by a thick sheen of darkened grease and the rainbow coloured streaks of waterproof crayons he liked to draw in the bath with. Dipsomedes immediately shouted out a catchphrase that was later to be made famous by his cousin: Zeus on a gyro! This was subsequently recorded in history books in the original Greek, so few scientists that utter Eureka today are aware of its theological yet mouthwatering origins.
Although the exact details were not fully worked out for over 2,500 years, Dipsomedes' intuition was essentially correct - sea levels are not fixed, and may wax and wane over the course of a bath, or indeed millenia. Dipsomedes expounded his theory in the needlessly long On the Dermal Expansion of the Seas. Today the treatise is of purely gastronomic significance, containing as it does his mother's recipe for baklava on the back of each page, almost certainly due to a photocopying error.
This story illustrates nicely how many of science's greatest discoveries have been made - in the nude. Charles Darwin successfully cultivated the image of a gentleman scientist, yet those who journeyed with him confessed off the record that his expeditions were little more than trumped up P&O style party cruises. It is said that there wasn't a woman within three hundred nautical miles of the Galapagos that hadn't succumbed to Darwin's famed oratory prowess, and although scant evidence remains, few doubt that Darwin conferred a lot more than just his name upon many of the beautiful finches of the islands.
Then there was Niels Bohr, the great Danish physicist who helped usher in the stranger than fiction world of quantum theory. Bohr was also a vociferous campaigner for the rights of marmosets, and he famously spent the last ten minutes of his Nobel Prize acceptance speech decrying the plight of our evolutionary second cousins. "So they don't have prehensile tails," he would say, "does that give us the right to destroy their habitat? Even I, a genius, have no prehensile tail!" Bohr then dropped his trousers to prove his point, causing many in the Nobel Committee to question the existence of an objective reality. Bohr would go on to host a biennial man-marmoset three-legged race in the backstreets of his hometown Copenhagen, at which the shared history and future of these two species was underlined by the strict requirement of all participants to fully disrobe. The event was later wound up by angry administrators who claimed Bohr's grandson Tyler was diverting funds to Barbary apes, rhesus monkeys and other members of the macaque family.
Showing posts with label science is funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label science is funny. Show all posts
Monday, October 4, 2010
Friday, June 20, 2008
Climate change - real or false?
It's the question on everyone's lips, so I'd like to provide a few signposts to help navigate these waters with rocks in them.
STOP
ONE WAY
SPEED BUMP
NO STOPPING
2P TICKET PARKING 10-2 SATURDAYS
STOP
ONE WAY
SPEED BUMP
NO STOPPING
2P TICKET PARKING 10-2 SATURDAYS
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Japan Team Plans New Nuclear Reactor In Wales
Aside from the obvious typo, this is a very disturbing - but some would say not entirely unexpected - development in the brave new world of ever scarcer energy resources. In what must seem a slap in the face to the Sea Shepherds and Australian Environment departments, Japan has announced plans to build nuclear reactors inside minke whales.
This is an enormous engineering challenge, with the Japanese team commencing construction next month inside the gastrointestinal system of four whales currently in captivity. When the reactors come online in 2013, the whales will be released into the ocean and controlled remotely using microcontroller technology.
Shipping and transport are the fastest growing sources of greenhouse emissions, so we can at least say the Japanese Government is taking seriously their duty to reduce these emissions by providing a mobile source of clean energy. The engineering team pointed out that the project neatly avoids the major obstacle in nuclear energy – waste disposal. When the minke whales die, presumably in their sleep of old age, their carcasses will fall to the bottom of the ocean, safely storing the nuclear waste for tens of weeks.
This is an enormous engineering challenge, with the Japanese team commencing construction next month inside the gastrointestinal system of four whales currently in captivity. When the reactors come online in 2013, the whales will be released into the ocean and controlled remotely using microcontroller technology.
Shipping and transport are the fastest growing sources of greenhouse emissions, so we can at least say the Japanese Government is taking seriously their duty to reduce these emissions by providing a mobile source of clean energy. The engineering team pointed out that the project neatly avoids the major obstacle in nuclear energy – waste disposal. When the minke whales die, presumably in their sleep of old age, their carcasses will fall to the bottom of the ocean, safely storing the nuclear waste for tens of weeks.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Zoo apes egged on by treats
THEY'RE used to eating plants and small animals, but these apes weren't about to give up a special present yesterday.
Siamang apes Puteri and baby Chanee were among scores of animals at Taronga Western Plains Zoo which received Easter treats.
The playful primates received their Easter goodies inside a $6,000 Louis Vuitton bag.
Renualdo Obierto, a spokesperson for Louis Vuitton, said the gift represented the company’s deep and abiding respect for our evolutionary cousins.
“At Louis Vuitton we’re all about luxury fashion and leather goods. These monkeys have given us so much, it’s time we gave something back.
The bags were filled with carob eggs and handheld power tools, much to Puteri and Chanee’s delight.
Zookeeper Brad Higgins said that it had been a tough year at the zoo, so they wanted to give Puteri and Chanee a break from their normal diet of plants and wildlife such as insects and small birds.
“After the debacle last year when they refused to eat chocolate eggs, we thought we’d try carob – the all natural chocolate substitute.
Siamang apes, originally from southeast Asia, are large, dark gibbon apes and are considered harmless by the Australian Defence Force.
They have dense, shaggy hair over most of their bodies and have senses surprisingly similar to humans including touch and taste.
Taronga Western Plains Zoo, which leads the world with its 1:1 zookeeper to animal ratio, is located at Dubbo, in central west NSW.
Story and photo Daily Telegraph, with an Artful Science Twist
Thursday, March 6, 2008
World's Oldest Bat Discovered Under Fat Man
Here's one from the archives, that now assumes its rightful location at ArtfulScience. In fact, there's a stack of other archived material that really belongs at this blog, but the transportation costs are considerable, not to mention greenhouse gas emissions. So check em out please. On to the story...
World's Oldest Bat Discovered Under Fat Man
The oldest bat in the world was discovered on a couch previously occupied by a morbidly obese man. The bloodsuckler was a Townsend's Big Eared bat (Corynorhinus townsendii) and biological testing confirmed its age as 37, beating by seven the previous record held by a little brown bat.
The man involved was identified as Barry Templeton, a 62 year old man from a village near Bristol, England. Templeton, who weighs 132 kg, explained that he would not have noticed a thing, but his dog, Marmaduchess alerted him to the unlikely visitor's presence after he had gotten up to answer the door. Templeton took the bat to his local vet, who pronounced the bat dead on arrival. Templeton said he had "no idea" how the bat got there.
Although a battery of tests were used to establish the deceased bat's age, the clincher was DNA testing of blood which had dried around its lips. This was amazingly traced back to a male pig-tailed monkey (Macaca nemestrina) known as Bonnie, who died of heart failure whilst in orbit around the earth aboard the NASA spacecraft, Biosatellite III. The monkey passed away 9 days after being launched in June, 1969.Templeton, an amateur astronomer, casually mentioned the story to a friend working at NASA, who recounted the tale of Bonnie.
NASA regularly takes blood samples of humans and animals it sends into space for identification purposes. Although it usually keeps these records confidential, NASA had no problem releasing the data to the Bristol veterinarian.A NASA official was unable to confirm whether Bonnie had been bitten by a bat, but suggested that a trip to the zoo a few days before launch by members of the Biosatellite III team, including Bonnie, would have been the only time the monkey would have been exposed to bats.
World's Oldest Bat Discovered Under Fat Man
The oldest bat in the world was discovered on a couch previously occupied by a morbidly obese man. The bloodsuckler was a Townsend's Big Eared bat (Corynorhinus townsendii) and biological testing confirmed its age as 37, beating by seven the previous record held by a little brown bat.
The man involved was identified as Barry Templeton, a 62 year old man from a village near Bristol, England. Templeton, who weighs 132 kg, explained that he would not have noticed a thing, but his dog, Marmaduchess alerted him to the unlikely visitor's presence after he had gotten up to answer the door. Templeton took the bat to his local vet, who pronounced the bat dead on arrival. Templeton said he had "no idea" how the bat got there.
Although a battery of tests were used to establish the deceased bat's age, the clincher was DNA testing of blood which had dried around its lips. This was amazingly traced back to a male pig-tailed monkey (Macaca nemestrina) known as Bonnie, who died of heart failure whilst in orbit around the earth aboard the NASA spacecraft, Biosatellite III. The monkey passed away 9 days after being launched in June, 1969.Templeton, an amateur astronomer, casually mentioned the story to a friend working at NASA, who recounted the tale of Bonnie.
NASA regularly takes blood samples of humans and animals it sends into space for identification purposes. Although it usually keeps these records confidential, NASA had no problem releasing the data to the Bristol veterinarian.A NASA official was unable to confirm whether Bonnie had been bitten by a bat, but suggested that a trip to the zoo a few days before launch by members of the Biosatellite III team, including Bonnie, would have been the only time the monkey would have been exposed to bats.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
First ever missionary found in Africa
WASHINGTON - Leah, the first gorilla ever seen using tools, has secured herself another ‘small place’ in history by becoming the first gorilla captured on film mating face-to-face, researchers reported on Tuesday.
A team from the Wildlife Conservation Society and the Max Planck Institute for Marital Aids in Leipzig, Germany photographed the unusual scene in the Republic of Congo. Although other researchers have reported seeing gorillas in such a human-like position, none had ever been photographed.
"We can't say how common this manner of mating is, but if I had to guess I’d say about 15% of the time," said Max-Planck's Thomas Breuer, who photographed the gorilla couple along with colleague Mireille Ndoundou Hockemba and her husband.
"It is deeply satisfying to observe gorilla sexual behaviour."
The researchers have been studying the group of western gorillas in Nouabale-Ndoki National Park in the Republic of Congo.
"Understanding the behaviour of our cousins the great apes sheds light on the evolution of behavioural traits in our own species and our ancestors," Breuer added in a statement.
"This same adult female has been noted for innovative behaviours before, including using a stick to stimulate her partner."
Writing in the Gorilla Gazette, Breuer and Hockemba said they spent 45 minutes watching Leah mating with a silverback male named Barry, who dominates the small group.
"Leah was lying on the ground and Barry was looking into Leah's eyes," the report reads.
“They were both highly aroused and mated for what seemed like all day. We all went for coffee afterwards.”
The western lowland gorilla is a critically endangered species, with populations down 60 percent under pressure from human hunters, destruction of their habitat, and health threats such as the Ebola virus, which kills gorillas and humans alike.
Leah made headlines around the world in 2005 when she was seen using a stick to test the depth of a pool of water before breaking it.
Breuer said only a few primates such as bonobos mate in a face-to-face position, known technically as ventro-ventral copulation. Most usually mate while facing in the same direction.
"There have been unsubstantiated reports of primates mating while facing different directions - left and right, if you will," Breuer said.
Written by Reuters, with surprisingly little Artful Science twist.
A team from the Wildlife Conservation Society and the Max Planck Institute for Marital Aids in Leipzig, Germany photographed the unusual scene in the Republic of Congo. Although other researchers have reported seeing gorillas in such a human-like position, none had ever been photographed.
"We can't say how common this manner of mating is, but if I had to guess I’d say about 15% of the time," said Max-Planck's Thomas Breuer, who photographed the gorilla couple along with colleague Mireille Ndoundou Hockemba and her husband.
"It is deeply satisfying to observe gorilla sexual behaviour."
The researchers have been studying the group of western gorillas in Nouabale-Ndoki National Park in the Republic of Congo.
"Understanding the behaviour of our cousins the great apes sheds light on the evolution of behavioural traits in our own species and our ancestors," Breuer added in a statement.
"This same adult female has been noted for innovative behaviours before, including using a stick to stimulate her partner."
Writing in the Gorilla Gazette, Breuer and Hockemba said they spent 45 minutes watching Leah mating with a silverback male named Barry, who dominates the small group.
"Leah was lying on the ground and Barry was looking into Leah's eyes," the report reads.
“They were both highly aroused and mated for what seemed like all day. We all went for coffee afterwards.”
The western lowland gorilla is a critically endangered species, with populations down 60 percent under pressure from human hunters, destruction of their habitat, and health threats such as the Ebola virus, which kills gorillas and humans alike.
Leah made headlines around the world in 2005 when she was seen using a stick to test the depth of a pool of water before breaking it.
Breuer said only a few primates such as bonobos mate in a face-to-face position, known technically as ventro-ventral copulation. Most usually mate while facing in the same direction.
"There have been unsubstantiated reports of primates mating while facing different directions - left and right, if you will," Breuer said.
Written by Reuters, with surprisingly little Artful Science twist.
Monday, February 4, 2008
More science headlines*
Tiny gene differences make us who we are
Scientists have found a single tiny gene that accounts for variations across human populations including skin colour, height and vulnerability to flattery, according to a new study. The gene, only 2 base pairs long, makes we who us are. Who Us Are! Who Us Are!
Online justice a world first
A person received justice while on the internet, becoming the first ever person to receive justice of any kind in the history of personages. It is not clear what kind of justice the person received, except that it was "sweet."
Spare jawbone grown in gut
An Abu Dhabi man has successfully grown a jawbone in his own stomach. The man, who goes by the nickname 'Gutful', was said to be ecstatic at achieving the world scientific first. When it was pointed out that the jawbone would have to come out somehow, the man tugged at his collar and sweated profusely.
Ah! Why we scratch an itch.
Oh, it brings such blessed relief and now scientists can tell you why. Scratching an itch temporarily shuts off areas in the brain linked with unpleasant feelings and memories. Scientists asked subjects to remember incidents such as coitus interruptus by a parent in law, being caught red-handed doing something naughty, and being dumped entirely unexpectedly and slackly. When an itch was induced by pouring concentrated sulfuric acid on the subject's perinasal cavity, the painful memories were quickly forgotten.
Sleep no escape from a wired world
A man trapped in a 6' by 12' wire cage found that his predicament remained even after waking up from a nap. He was later released by scientists.
New languages evolve in sudden bursts
New languages often evolve quickly, in a sudden burst of new words coined as groups of people strive to describe the world around them, says an international team of researchers. The timespan involved is usually 25 to 35 minutes, while the features of the world that need describing include who is on the cover of celebrity magazines, what's stuck on the bottom of their shoe, and why there is so much entrenched institutional stupidity around.
Mercury delivers the unexpected
Scientists have been astonished by their latest findings about the planet Mercury. It turns out that it doesn't actually exist. Astronomer Dmitri Galiatov tells the story. "All images of Mercury so far have actually been obtained using the same telescope. The cleaning service for the telescope expired back in '67, and they only just recently got round to cleaning it again. When they did, Mercury disappeared! It was actually just a piece of dust or something on the lens. I'm surprised it's taken this long to realise." The finding is a blow to amateur planetary scientists who are already coming to grips with the loss of Pluto as a card carrying planet.
Warmer seas boosted cyclones by 40%
In a survey of British 13-17 year olds, it was found that warmer seas will make cyclones 40% more boosted. The survey also found that a slowed Atlantic current will decrease the average Greenland winter temperature, currently 0 degrees Celsius, by half.
Thick clouds cast shadows over Mars
Thick clouds have made it hard to see the red planet this past week. The clouds, which are mostly of the cumulo nimbus variety, are expected to pass late Thursday. "Man, this really sucks," said planetary scientist Rita Fringberg. "Funnily enough though, I just saw a cloud that really looked like U.S. tennis player Mardy Fish."
Personality-breast cancer link debunked
The idea that a woman's personality traits can make her more prone to breast cancer appears nothing more than a myth, say Dutch researchers. The researchers, who are examining the effects of ritalin on baby alligators, hit back at comments they were ill-qualified to comment on a field with little relation to their own.
*Coopted from ABC Science headlines, with an artful science double half twist with pike.
Scientists have found a single tiny gene that accounts for variations across human populations including skin colour, height and vulnerability to flattery, according to a new study. The gene, only 2 base pairs long, makes we who us are. Who Us Are! Who Us Are!
Online justice a world first
A person received justice while on the internet, becoming the first ever person to receive justice of any kind in the history of personages. It is not clear what kind of justice the person received, except that it was "sweet."
Spare jawbone grown in gut
An Abu Dhabi man has successfully grown a jawbone in his own stomach. The man, who goes by the nickname 'Gutful', was said to be ecstatic at achieving the world scientific first. When it was pointed out that the jawbone would have to come out somehow, the man tugged at his collar and sweated profusely.
Ah! Why we scratch an itch.
Oh, it brings such blessed relief and now scientists can tell you why. Scratching an itch temporarily shuts off areas in the brain linked with unpleasant feelings and memories. Scientists asked subjects to remember incidents such as coitus interruptus by a parent in law, being caught red-handed doing something naughty, and being dumped entirely unexpectedly and slackly. When an itch was induced by pouring concentrated sulfuric acid on the subject's perinasal cavity, the painful memories were quickly forgotten.
Sleep no escape from a wired world
A man trapped in a 6' by 12' wire cage found that his predicament remained even after waking up from a nap. He was later released by scientists.
New languages evolve in sudden bursts
New languages often evolve quickly, in a sudden burst of new words coined as groups of people strive to describe the world around them, says an international team of researchers. The timespan involved is usually 25 to 35 minutes, while the features of the world that need describing include who is on the cover of celebrity magazines, what's stuck on the bottom of their shoe, and why there is so much entrenched institutional stupidity around.
Mercury delivers the unexpected
Scientists have been astonished by their latest findings about the planet Mercury. It turns out that it doesn't actually exist. Astronomer Dmitri Galiatov tells the story. "All images of Mercury so far have actually been obtained using the same telescope. The cleaning service for the telescope expired back in '67, and they only just recently got round to cleaning it again. When they did, Mercury disappeared! It was actually just a piece of dust or something on the lens. I'm surprised it's taken this long to realise." The finding is a blow to amateur planetary scientists who are already coming to grips with the loss of Pluto as a card carrying planet.
Warmer seas boosted cyclones by 40%
In a survey of British 13-17 year olds, it was found that warmer seas will make cyclones 40% more boosted. The survey also found that a slowed Atlantic current will decrease the average Greenland winter temperature, currently 0 degrees Celsius, by half.
Thick clouds cast shadows over Mars
Thick clouds have made it hard to see the red planet this past week. The clouds, which are mostly of the cumulo nimbus variety, are expected to pass late Thursday. "Man, this really sucks," said planetary scientist Rita Fringberg. "Funnily enough though, I just saw a cloud that really looked like U.S. tennis player Mardy Fish."
Personality-breast cancer link debunked
The idea that a woman's personality traits can make her more prone to breast cancer appears nothing more than a myth, say Dutch researchers. The researchers, who are examining the effects of ritalin on baby alligators, hit back at comments they were ill-qualified to comment on a field with little relation to their own.
*Coopted from ABC Science headlines, with an artful science double half twist with pike.
Friday, December 7, 2007
The Latest Science Headlines
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER LINK BETWEEN OWN EXISTENCE AND AMAZING BREAKTHROUGHS
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER LINK BETWEEN VIEWING PORNOGRAPHY AND MALE SEXUAL AROUSAL.
Study is the largest of its kind in the world, in terms of both length and girth.
SCIENTISTS CONFIDENT OF CANCER BREAKTRHOUGH - IN GENERAL.
"This isn't based on any particular study or theoretical progress - it's just a general confidence. We're feeling pretty good."
SCIENTISTS "JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEAVE US ALONE"
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE NOT A SCIENCE, SAY SCIENTISTS.
"We're rich and we can prove it," say management scientists.
PROCRASTINATION STUDY DELAYED AGAIN
STUDENTS STUDY STUDY STUDY.
A review of studying methods has been put under the microscope by students.
ENVIRONMENT IN "DEEP SHIT", SAY SCIENTISTS.
Environment agrees.
SCIENTIST THINKS OWN SHIT DOESN'T STINK
"We don't know shit," said JC Venter. "Which is why I've decided to make my lab the first to sequence the metagenome of a human's turd - my own of course."
SCIENCE IN THE MEDIA - AGAIN
INFRASTRUCTURE COLLAPSES
You would too if you'd been through what it has.
STEM CELL BREAKTHROUGH
Ethics committee approves research proposal.
MINDFUCK
Scientists have pinpointed 54 different areas of the brain associated with each of the 54 uses of the word "fuck".
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER LINK BETWEEN VIEWING PORNOGRAPHY AND MALE SEXUAL AROUSAL.
Study is the largest of its kind in the world, in terms of both length and girth.
SCIENTISTS CONFIDENT OF CANCER BREAKTRHOUGH - IN GENERAL.
"This isn't based on any particular study or theoretical progress - it's just a general confidence. We're feeling pretty good."
SCIENTISTS "JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEAVE US ALONE"
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE NOT A SCIENCE, SAY SCIENTISTS.
"We're rich and we can prove it," say management scientists.
PROCRASTINATION STUDY DELAYED AGAIN
STUDENTS STUDY STUDY STUDY.
A review of studying methods has been put under the microscope by students.
ENVIRONMENT IN "DEEP SHIT", SAY SCIENTISTS.
Environment agrees.
SCIENTIST THINKS OWN SHIT DOESN'T STINK
"We don't know shit," said JC Venter. "Which is why I've decided to make my lab the first to sequence the metagenome of a human's turd - my own of course."
SCIENCE IN THE MEDIA - AGAIN
INFRASTRUCTURE COLLAPSES
You would too if you'd been through what it has.
STEM CELL BREAKTHROUGH
Ethics committee approves research proposal.
MINDFUCK
Scientists have pinpointed 54 different areas of the brain associated with each of the 54 uses of the word "fuck".
Sunday, September 2, 2007
NEWSFLASH! Dingoes are cute
The Australian dingo has been tearing about the Australian mainland for about 5,000 years. Many dingologists believe it is at risk of disappearing completely due to hybridisation with domestic dog breeds. Especially common are the dinginese (Pekinese), the dingdog (bulldog) and the dingutt (mutt). Pure bred dingos are still to be found in southeast NSW, such as parts of Kosciuszko National Park. Recent satellite tracking research carried out on wild dogs by the NSW National Parks and Wildlife Service (NPWS) has determined that for the most part individual animals have very large home range sizes, mostly around 10000 hectares (ha) in size but up to 40000 ha. Within these home ranges the dogs travel constantly. The relatively large distances moved by animals further increases the risk of hybridisation, particularly if purebred dingoes 'interact' with other dogs that are genetically compromised (aren't we all?). Photo by Andrew Claridge, NPWS. Text from NPWS with an Artful Science twist.
Note: the usually reliable google system of discerning alternate spellings of words failed me here. 'dingoes' gets 312,000 hits, 'dingos' 291,000. That may seem like a big difference, but I am not confident it is spellistically significant.
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